


I’m Not a Girl!

by Vorabiza (Biza)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Language, Humor, M/M, One Shot, Out of Character, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-14
Updated: 2005-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-19 01:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8184473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biza/pseuds/Vorabiza
Summary: Harry’s sick and tired of his housemates teasing him for looking like a girl and finally retaliates.  Draco’s quite impressed with the retaliation, as well as Harry’s appearance.  Written for The Silver Snitch’s 2500 word Snitch-A-Thon.





	

"I'M NOT A GIRL!"

Everyone in the Great Hall immediately fell silent and turned towards the Gryffindor table. Too furious to be embarrassed, Harry glared at all the students who were now watching him with interest. He focused on his nearby housemates again.

"I'M NOT A GIRL!" he shouted again, just in case no one had heard him the first time.

"Harry! Sit down!" Ron hissed, pulling on the sleeve of Harry's robe. Ron and Hermione were both blushing in mortification on Harry's behalf.

Harry jerked his sleeve out of Ron's hands. "I've had enough!"

"Harry, please just sit down," Hermione pleaded.

"Oooh, when he gets all angry, it looks just like girls' blush on his cheeks," Seamus teased.

Ron and Hermione cringed, suddenly scooting as far out of the line of fire as they could. Neville and Dean had been sitting on either side of Seamus, but now they, too, were scooting as far away as they possibly could, hoping not to draw Harry's attention onto themselves. 

Harry's nostrils flared as he glared daggers at Seamus. Those watching hadn't seen Harry draw his wand, but the words hadn't been completely out of Seamus' mouth before Harry's wand was pointing steadily at him.

No one was sure what happened at first, only knowing that Seamus yelped and then stared at Harry with a horror-struck expression. 

Harry glared at him maliciously. "Feel better?" he asked sweetly, his tone in direct contrast to his expression.

"Harry, please tell me you didn't?" Seamus said, sounding downright terrified.

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Didn't _what_ , Seamus?" he asked innocently.

Everyone watched with morbid curiosity as Seamus slowly stood, unbuttoned his robes, sucked in his stomach, and pulled his trousers out while he peeked down inside them. Harry smirked in satisfaction as Seamus turned a dreadful shade of green.

"I'm very much a boy and I happen to like my cock," Harry sneered. He heard the shocked gasps from around the Hall, but remained oblivious to all the girls' blushes and the boys' dawning looks of horror, his gaze unwavering from Seamus. "Since you think it's so bloody fascinating for a boy to be compared to a girl, you can give it a try yourself. Let's see how much you like _being a girl_."

"I'm sorry," Seamus whimpered. No one was quite sure if he was saying sorry to Harry or if he was saying sorry to his missing bits, as he was still staring down into his trousers.

"Mr. Potter," Snape said sharply, gaining Harry's attention.

Harry dropped his wand to his side and turned to gaze expectantly at Snape. "Yes, sir?"

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for the crude language," Snape sneered.

Harry simply nodded, knowing perfectly well that was not his main problem at the moment. He watched as Snape's eyes slid to the noxious green Gryffindor still staring into his trousers. When Snape's gaze slid back to meet his own, Harry swore Snape's eyes were glittering with amusement.

"Mr. Potter, did you just hex Mr. Finnegan?" he asked, sounding almost cordial all of a sudden.

Harry blinked, surprised by Snape's attitude. "Yes, sir," he answered. Everyone in the bloody Hall knew he'd hexed Seamus; there was no point in denying it. Besides, Harry still felt a great deal of satisfaction, and felt it was worth whatever punishment he was about to receive.

Snape's gaze slid back to Seamus. "Mr. Finnegan, I trust that the hex was performed accurately?"

Seamus whimpered helplessly. "It's gone," he said pitifully, garnering much support from the boys in the Great Hall.

"Ah, well, that would be accurate then," Snape said smoothly.

Harry wondered if he was the only one to see Snape's lips twitching, attempting to hold back his amusement.

"Mr. Thomas, escort Mr. Finnegan to the infirmary," Snape commanded. Dean jumped up immediately, grabbed Seamus' arm, and began guiding the poor boy out of the Hall.

Snape turned back to Harry. "Forty points from Gryffindor for hexing a fellow classmate," he said, tone almost pleasant.

Harry watched curiously as Snape _strolled_ back to the Head Table.

"I didn't even get a detention," Harry mused.

"He's required to take points because of the rules against students hexing each other, but nothing requires him to give detention. That's generally left up to the professor's discretion," Hermione said helpfully. "Um, I think you just provided Snape with the most amusement he's felt in a long while."

Harry scowled. "Well, at least it was amusing to someone."

"Uh, I think he was on your side," Hermione pointed out.

Harry blinked. "Do you think so?" he asked curiously.

She nodded. "It seemed like he thought Seamus deserved . . . um, what you did to him."

"Did you really hex his bits off?" Ron asked.

Harry glanced at his friend, noticing that while Ron's face wasn't as distressingly green as Seamus' had been, it was still a little off-colour. 

"Yes," Harry answered, causing Ron to flinch. Harry smirked as he noticed Ron's hand automatically disappear under the table, checking that his own bits were still present and accounted for.

Glancing around, he realized that all of the boys mysteriously had a hand under the table. Harry didn't exactly feel as sympathetic as he might have normally. He felt they all deserved to be a little uncomfortable after all the teasing they'd been doing.

Ron swallowed heavily. "He'll be all right, though?" he asked nervously.

Harry snorted derisively. "He'll be back to normal in twenty-four hours, if that's considered 'all right'," he answered.

Ron breathed a sigh of relief, and Harry knew that Ron was happy to know that it wouldn't be permanent if he ever accidentally got hit with that hex. He doubted Ron was really that worried about Seamus.

"I'm really sorry, Harry," Ron said, his voice quiet but earnest in his apology.

Harry shrugged. "Just don't do it anymore."

"Understood," Ron said, grateful Harry didn't seem to want to retaliate any further.

As the meal progressed, everyone who had been teasing Harry took a few moments to officially apologize. None of the boys wanted to risk the same fate as Seamus.

~*~*~*~

Harry sighed heavily as he wandered outside. It was almost curfew and he knew he should be heading up to the tower, but he didn't really feel like dealing with everyone at the moment.

He slowly followed the path down to the lake, trying not to think about what had happened earlier. His thoughts weren't exactly cooperating with him, though. What bothered him about the whole ordeal was that he knew why they always teased him, and he mostly agreed with them. Unfortunately for him. 

He was easily the shortest seventh year boy in the school, and was shorter than a lot of the girls even. He blamed the Dursleys for that and cursed them regularly. "Lack of proper nutrition does _wonders_ for stunting growth," he muttered sarcastically.

He used to be happy when people told him he had his mum's eyes. Anymore, it simply made him want to cringe that he had such a girl's feature. Mrs. Weasley seemed to especially enjoy reminiscing about Lily's beautiful eyes with the long, dark lashes. "Your eyes are just like hers, Harry," he parroted Mrs. Weasley's words to himself. 

He rued the day that Hermione had finally talked him into getting his eyes fixed because glasses in battle could be a hindrance. "Stupid girls," he muttered darkly.

Ron was just as insulting. Harry wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere every time he thought back to the day when Ron earnestly declared that Ginny should be able to learn to play seeker as well as Harry because they were built so much alike. "But you're both so small and delicate," Harry repeated Ron's words with a viciousness Ron hadn't used at the time.

He did feel a twinge of satisfaction that Ginny had been just as insulted as he was because of Ron's oblivious remarks. Ron had at least been addressing Ginny at the time or Harry would have never forgiven Ron for using the term "delicate" in association with him. As it was, Harry had taken great pleasure in whomping Ron's arse before Mrs. Weasley had broken up their fight.

Ron had become a lot more wary about teasing Harry for awhile, but back at Hogwarts it had only taken a few teasing comments out of Seamus' mouth before Ron was doing it himself again. "It's all _harmless_ ," Harry griped, kicking viciously at a rock along the lake shore.

It certainly hadn't helped when he'd finally let it slip that he was gay. No one had actually seemed to mind his preferences, but comments about him wanting to find a boy, just like all the girls, had been going around ever since.

"I like boys," he muttered, expression fierce. "How am I going to ever find a _gay_ boy if I look like a bloody girl?"

"I think you're sexy."

Harry whirled at the sound of the quiet voice. "Malfoy, I don't need you mocking me, too. I'll hex you like I hexed Seamus."

Draco blanched, but held his hands up, showing that he was unarmed at least. Harry really did think about hexing him, but the word "sexy" had caught his attention, whether he wanted it to or not.

"I wasn't trying to mock you," Draco said softly.

Harry frowned. "I don't believe you," he answered automatically.

Things had been a lot different this year, the war having ended in their sixth year. Harry and Draco couldn't be called friends by any means, but they weren't enemies anymore, either. Still frowning, Harry tried to recall the last time Malfoy had actually mocked him in any way—and he couldn't remember anything from the recent months.

He gazed back at Malfoy, who was gazing at Harry steadily. Harry realized that there was no mocking sneer that would normally be gracing Malfoy's features in a situation like this. Malfoy's face was rather . . . blank actually. Harry had no idea what the blond was thinking.

"What are you playing at, Malfoy?" Harry demanded.

"I'm not playing at anything," Draco said calmly. "I just heard your muttering and decided to add my opinion. At the risk of getting my bits hexed off, I'd also like to add that you were quite gorgeous earlier in all your fury."

Harry's eyes narrowed angrily. "Now, I _know_ you're just fucking with me."

"Well, no, but I'd love to take that statement literally rather than figuratively," Draco drawled.

Harry blinked at him in confusion for a moment until Draco's meaning registered in his brain. "Why are you trying to hurt me like you used to?" he blurted out. Hearing the hurt in his own voice that he'd just unwillingly portrayed, Harry scowled. "Just go away and leave me alone, Malfoy," he snapped angrily.

"I'm not trying to hurt you," Draco said softly, taking a tentative step towards Harry.

"What are you trying to do then?" Harry asked.

"I'm trying to tell you that I like you, if you'd just give me a chance," Draco answered.

"You don't like me," Harry sneered, not realizing how much hope his expression was displaying.

"But I _do_ like you, Harry," Draco said, taking another hesitant step forward.

Harry blinked in surprise. "Did you just call me 'Harry'?"

Draco smirked slightly. "Yes, it _is_ your name."

"I know it's my name," Harry retorted, but sounding confused nevertheless. "I've just never heard you say it."

Draco's smirk widened. "I'd rather not be shouting out the name 'Potter' when we're fucking. It's not quite as personal."

Harry stared at him incredulously. "You think we're going to be fucking anytime soon?"

"Merlin, I bloody hope so," Draco said fervently. "I've been wanting to for months."

Harry opened his mouth, simply to close it again as Draco stepped a little closer. Harry watched him warily, trying to figure out if this was all a joke. "Months?" was all he was able to come up with to say.

Draco nodded. "I've wanted you for months now, but didn't think it would ever be possible."

"You think its possible now?" Harry asked.

Draco finally looked a bit nervous. "I'm hoping," he said uneasily.

"Why?" Harry asked, fascinated with Draco and the strange conversation.

"Because you're bloody gorgeous, and I'd be more than happy to help you realize it. You're such a pretty boy and believe me when I say that's a good thing. You're hot and sexy. And that's just your looks!" Draco exclaimed. "There's no mistaking that you're a real man. You can fight with the best of them. Hell, you _are_ the best—you killed off the Dark Lord! And what you did to Finnegan? Oh, I thought only a Slytherin was capable of such retaliation. It was incredible!"

Harry was staring at the intense blond in fascination. "That turned you on?" It was technically a question, but judging by the lustful, silver eyes, Harry already had his answer.

"Oh, Merlin, yes!" Draco answered. "You're brave, loyal, trustworthy, and all that other good stuff, which _is_ good I suppose, but you're strong, powerful and never take any shite from anyone. Put such a powerful personality in a pretty little package, and . . . ," Draco trailed off with an almost dreamy expression.

Harry could only blink at him in wonder. Draco shook his head as if to clear it, then looked a little nervous again as he stared back at Harry.

Harry cleared his throat. "So, um, I reckon this might be the time to tell you that I've fancied you for a while now."

~*~*~*~

Draco and Harry walked into the Great Hall with Draco's arm securely around Harry's waist, effectively staking his claim for all to see. Harry gave his new boyfriend a bruising kiss, then sauntered over to the Gryffindor table while Draco made his way over to the gobsmacked Slytherins at his own house table.

"Bloody hell, Harry!" Ron exclaimed. " _Malfoy_?!"

"You have a problem with that?" Harry asked, a warning in his tone.

"Yes!" Ron shouted. "You were scary enough on your own! You didn't need a bloody protector, but now if we say anything, we're going to have Malfoy coming after us, too! Everyone knows you don't mess with anything that belongs to Malfoy!"

The Gryffindors turned as one to look over at the Slytherins. Draco was watching them intently and sent them all an evil smirk.

Harry checked on Seamus' reaction. The poor boy had obviously been sent back into the mainstream, despite not feeling quite himself yet. Harry thought the vile shade of green was a rather interesting colour for Seamus.

Seamus looked nervously between Harry and Draco. "Good choice, Harry," he squeaked.

Harry smirked at Seamus, looked over at Draco and winked. He may not be a girl and he could hold his own, but it still felt damned good to be Draco's pretty boy.

~~Finite~~


End file.
